Rise and Shine
October 1st, 2010
When I lost my job I refused to feel down about it. I rememberd how others in my situation had reacted, getting depressed and sad. In speaking with a colleague yesterday, I realised that I have been literally pulling myself out of bed every day and living the day, enjoying it as much as I can.
When I told her that I was doing this, she commented that it was a courageous thing to do. and she asked me how it made me feel..
I can tell you that it’s hard. Really hard. Getting up and facing people is difficult. Staying in bed and feeling down is tempting. and easier.
I’m reading a book called the Upside of Irrationality (Dan Ariely), and the first chapter mentions that “most of us prefer immediately gratifying short-term experiences over our long-term objectives” (Ariely, 5). He speaks to the fact that this behaviour can be irrational, because why wouldn’t you want to stick to a diet or save for retirement?
But I realised that I’m *grateful* to myself for doing what I’m doing. I’m being rational. I’m looking to fulfilling the long term goals. I can’t get a job if I don’t get up and search for one. And if I stay in bed, I’ll do nothing but commiserate with my thoughts, and get depressed, lessening my chances over time of getting back to “normal” and living my life. So, I guess, despite this terrible event, I choose to live. I choose to seek moments of happiness, to laugh and enjoy the day.
Rise and Shine
January 5th, 2012
So I finally started working again in March, and had to get used to getting up really early, or getting up really late… I’m on 12 hour shifts, days and nights, and it can be killer. I think I have been able to cope simply because I choose to stay positive. I thank God every day I get up that I have a job to go to, even if the hours are not all that cushy. There are so many others who are jobless, and my heart goes out to them. I cannot help, even though I try. It makes me feel powerless and sad sometimes.
I met a lady on the subway who had lost her job and shared my thoughts on staying happy. She was amazed at all that I had accomplished. I learned to quilt, I learned to sew straight-ish lines, I travelled, went parasailing (breath taking) and ski-ing (back breaking, but exhilerating), and tried to make the best of each day.
I spent a lot of time trying to cope with a grueling work schedule, and it is taking a toll on my health. But I am confident I will persevere. I will find new opportunities and grow my career. I will take new risks and grow my life.